Tom found me on a BBW dating site two-and-a-half years ago. I'd been dating like a mad woman - literally a hundred dates in 18 months. Who knew so many men dug full-figured, middle-aged women? I sure didn't. The problem: there weren't many good ones - or at least right ones. Like not a single dude in a 100 different dates. Sex addicts and married assholes? Yes. Decent, loving men? Sadly... no.
Tom spent the previous year on e-Harmony being matched with the "woman of his dreams." Too bad she turned out to be a psycho bitch from hell: needy, demanding, and quasi-deranged. Undeterred, Tom tried again. He clicked on a link for "BBW dating" even though he didn't have a clue what BBW meant (for the uninitiated, it means Big Beautiful Woman). Tom picked 20 women and sent them a quick message. I was among the respondents. We emailed and then spent hours on the phone. He finally asked me on a date.
It was just one of those things - one of those crazy, crazy things. We clicked from the very first moment we met. Tom said later it was like coming home again. All I knew was that this guy was different. The little voice in my head screamed, "THIS WILL WORK. DON'T SCREW IT UP!"
And it has. From that very first day, we've never been apart. Amazing and miraculous. Not perfect... he's a dude after all. And it's real life. We have struggles and challenges like everyone. For example, it took him forever to tell me he loved me. I fretted, inquired, and cajoled - do you love me? Do? You? Love? Me? He waited months and months because he wanted to be absolutely sure. Then on Valentine's Day 2008 Tom gave me a card:
For the million everyday moments that make up our happy life... I LOVE YOU.
And he does.
I tell you all this because if you're looking for love, there's hope - no matter your age, weight, shape, career, education, hair color, breast size, or credit worthiness. There's someone out there for everyone. Yes, even you.
If you're already in love, revel. If you're past romantic love and just want some peace and quiet, go for it. On this Valentine's Day, the only thing that really matters is creating a life you love.
Now that's a love that will last a lifetime.