Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Off topic: Eat Pray Love AKA Ponder Examine Change
Men aren’t perfect and I don’t expect them to be. It's way too much to assume someone with a penis can ever be a woman’s reason for being. But I’ve been guilty of this all my life, always expecting the next (more perfect) man to finally make me happy. Inevitably, if I'm lucky enough to land the dude, I discover almost instantly that he isn't remotely my Prince Charming. Instead he's just an irksome, mega-flawed man who didn't deserve me to begin with.
I do want a man in my life. I really do. But I don’t want him to BE my life. Tom, my beloved boyfriend, is a great guy and I enjoy spending my life with him. But believe me, in many ways I’ve got my act a lot more together than he does. I can neither make him the center of my life nor responsible for my happiness and growth. That’s my job.
Forever more, let me possess this profound wisdom: I can have a good man in my life without making him my life. To be honest with you, this is one reason I focus so much on knitting. Knitting is about me, my fascination, my education, my accomplishments. For the most part, knitting doesn't have anything to do with men - and that's a huge relief. Knitting - along with my business, creativity, and friendships - makes me the sun in my own solar system. Brilliant.
I wish I'd read Eat Pray Love when I was 21. Maybe I could have saved myself 45 years of pain and suffering. But probably not. As Maya Angelou says, "I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better." Indeed.