DISCLAIMER. I officially declare today as The World According to Julie Day, which means I get to opine openly about what I hate in current knitting trends. You're now duly warned. All that follows is just my humble opinion (JMHO).
I hate cowls.
Cowls were all the rage when I was in the college in the late seventies. I hated them then, too. Why? Because I have a two-inch neck. Maybe three. (See the photo of Tom and me below for empirical evidence.) There just isn't room to comfortably stuff a knitted loop around my neck. Yes, I know you'll tell me they draw attention up to my face and blah blah blah. But I ain't wearing them!

Much to my dismay, yesterday a cowl-bearing LYS owner chased me around and around waving her latest neckware design. I almost screamed at her: I DON'T WEAR TURTLENECKS, COWLS, SNOODS, OR DICKEYS - NOW GO AWAY!!! Then she started blathering on about how I could make a sweater in super bulky yarn and I almost screamed: ARE YOU NUTS? I'M FAT AND MENOPAUSAL - I DON'T WEAR SUPER BULKY WOOL! NOW GO AWAY!!! It wasn't a pleasant shopping trip, as you can imagine.
Many knitting classes offered today are for cowls, the perfect beginning knitting project. But for me, they're just a mega-yawn. I'll be happy when the trend shifts and no one wears them again for 30 years. Can't come too soon. JMHO, of course.
What is with all the shawls?
I know shawls make good beginning lace projects, but ACK! Half of the most popular patterns on Ravelry are shawls. What I want to know is why isn't anyone wearing them? I know one old hippie who routinely wears shawls but hasn't stopped donning them since the Summer of Love (there's a reference that will date me).
I admit I've got a shawl project stuffed in my purse. I take it with me everywhere and pull it out whenever I have to wait at the chiropractor's. When it is completed, I will wrap the shawl around me when I type because I get chilly sitting still. But neither this chiropractic shawl nor any other will ever become a wardrobe staple. Ever! I'll be interested to see what women do with all these large knitted squares and half-circles; I doubt they'll ever wear them more than twice.
But I do think lace shawls are beautiful. JMHO, of course.
I despise variegated yarn.
Listen. Just because a yarn manfacturer can use ten dye colors in a single skein doesn't mean you should be knitting everything you own in it. The first problem: horizontal striping. Even skinny chicks look heavy with stripes wrapped again and again around their bodies. Second, color pooling sucks! Although some manufacturers are figuring out how to dye yarn so it doesn't pool hideously, most multicolored yarn does. Variegation doesn't bother me on mittens or socks and even some shawls, but I don't like it on anything else. And I just HATE variegated yarns used with lace or cables. When it comes to knitting something, pick one - lace, cables, or abject color - do NOT combine! I'd like to see your lace and cables but if they're smothered with wildly changing hues, I can't see them at all. JMHO, of course.
Enough with the ruffles!
Ruffles? Really? I'm 51 years old. Ruffles? Little girl dresses, yes. Wide-angled, middle-aged mamas? NO. JMHO, of course.
Death to skulls and crossbones
Maybe I'm too old. No, definitely I'm too old. But honestly, must everything be plastered with the universal sign for poison? God or Satan willing, this trend is dying, but it can't happen soon enough. (Love being able to get in a picture of a pug, however!) JMHO, of course.
Stop reproducing fornicating reindeer
And to end today's rant, I propose putting a permanent end to those horrible sex addicts, the fornicating reindeer. Why do people knit this motif? To shock their grandmothers? I'm not a grandmother but I'm old enough to be one, and yes, it shocks me.
Do reindeers f*** in the woods? Yes. Let them, and respect their privacy. Stop knitting this nonsense!
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is just my humble opinion!